La Casa Chica
My first book, Soy Boricua, features five generations of women of a Puerto Rican family. Their every day lives are affected by historical events, politics and the clashing of cultures. As we get closer to the book's launch I'll be posting about the events and culture of the day that these women and others may have been concerned with and affected by as they went about their lives.
Today's post covers not just Puerto Rican culture but Latin culture in general and how the lives of women have been affected by its norms.
Traditionally in Hispanic/Latin societies men are far more important than women. Very early in life boys are raised to be the dominant figure while girls are trained be dominant to the men in their lives, including fathers and brothers. Young men were encouraged to bed as many women as they could as proof of their verility while young women were expected to be docile and innocent while also being seductive though they were never to initiate sexual activity. A girl's virginity was revered while at the same time the girl is encouraged to adorn herself with jewelry and dress to entice. The Puerto Rican woman was expected to sacrifice all for the good of husband and family. She would be passive but always ready for her husband sexually though the ability to enjoy sex was seen a lack of feminine virtue.
La casa chica is a phrase coined in Mexico that refers to the practice in many Latin cultures of a married man establishing his mistress in her own household. It's primarily held by men who wish to leave their wives but don't want the stigma or expense of a divorce and often have children by both women. Today, couples who live together but do not marry don't have the same entitlements as those who are married, however, any children that derive from the union are considered legitimate and must be cared for by their parents until they reach 21 years of age. Traditionally, men are allowed to sleep and cohabitate with women outside their marriage while women are not.
Culture Clash
With more Puerto Ricans living in and being influenced by American culture and values in the past few decades, there tends to be a clash in multigenerational households. Women understand that they no longer have to be docile and submissive to men and can even enjoy and initiate sex. Could you imagine? Meanwhile, mainland Puerto Rican society has begun to frown down on extra marital relations though the practice still continues on the island.
Language also becomes an issue with second generation Puerto Ricans living in the United States able to speak English better than their parents and neighbors while learning only basic Spanish. Embarrassed by their child's lack of understanding or unwillingness to learn the language, parents begin to question the child's ability to identify as Puerto Rican.
The 1960s were an especially turbulent time in American history. Both women and minorities were demanding equal rights and protections from discrimination, harrassment and abuse. Conservatives railed against the availability of the birth control pill which allowed women sexual freedom never before experienced. More women worked outside the home and furthered their education. These are the elements that make for an explosive visit when Guadalupe Rivera must not only contend with her husband's son moving in after his mother dies but her headstrong daughter, Damaris, who aggressively makes her opinion about the situation known when she comes home for Christmas vacation in 1968.
***
New Years Eve kicked off with fireworks inside and out of the house. The family sat down to dinner before the festivities were set to begin and Damaris announced she would be heading into San Juan with some friends for the night.
"Young lady, you will stay here and spend Ano Viejo with your family. What makes you think I'm going to allow my daughter go off to the city in the middle of the night? You're not in New York anymore."
"I should say not. It's not safe or proper for a girl to be on her own at night." Lupe agreed. She was certain Damaris was out all hours of the night on the mainland but so long as she didn't see it or get a phone call about it, there wasn't much she could say.
"I won't be alone, I'll be with friends. Everyone on the island is going to be awake tonight and the cops will be everywhere. It's probably the safest night of the year to go out."
Damaris had a point and she did whatever she wanted when she was away at school. Surely New York was no safer than San Juan.
"Well, if you're careful I suppose we can do without you tonight. You'll be spending Dia de Reyes with us anyway." Lupe conceded, glancing at her husband whose jaw was set.
"Actually, school starts on the 6th so I have to get back." Damaris said, sheepishly. "But we can do it before that can't we?"
"No," Gustavo said. "you're staying here tonight and that's final. I don't know what they're teaching you in that American college but in this house you will abide by tradition."
Damaris' eyes narrowed. "Is that the tradition where you force your bastard on to your loving wife?"
Gustavo leapt to his feet so fast his chair hit the floor but in the next instant Lupe was between him and his daughter. Javier hunched low in his seat, always silent, but his wide eyes watched from just above the table.
"Get out of my way, Lupita. Our daughter needs to remember to respect her father!" Gustavo raged, his belt was wrapped around his fist.
"No, Gustavo let me handle this, please!" Lupe begged, her daughter wide eyed but defiant behind her.
"I'm a grown woman, Papi, I'm allowed to have opinions and a voice!"
"Not in this house you're not!" He said, pushing against his wife but Lupe remained firm.
She turned and barked at her daughter. "Go to your room right now, Damaris, I'll talk to you in a minute."
Damaris opened her mouth to object but Lupe shot her a look that was not to be reckoned with and the girl rushed away. Lupe managed to get Gustavo seated again and soothed him with some coffee and her flan that he loved so much before heading to her daughter's room. Once inside the room, Lupe blew up.
"Are you crazy? What do you mean by disrespecting your father in his own house? I taught you better than that!"
"How could you stand to look at that man after what he's done to you?"
"That man is your father and you will continue to treat him with respect. Whatever happened is between him and me, it has nothing to do with you."
"How could you say that? He cheated on you, on both of us. He's got another kid for God's sake!"
Guadalupe slapped Damaris in the mouth. "Don't you take the Lord's name in vain in my house."
Rubbing her temples, Lupe sat down on the bed beside Damaris who was red faced with anger but silent.
"Damaris," she sighed. "there are things that go on in a marriage that you're too young to understand. A man and his wife go through so much together, the birth of a child, sickness, financial struggles, seeing their own children married off and it binds them together. Infidelity is part of a man's nature. They think the more women they bed the more of a man they are. Something like this is nothing in a marriage. He could have been the type of man to walk away from his responsibilities once he was done with her. Instead, he took care of her and their child. He's a good man."
"A good man," Damaris snorted. "If Papi was a good man he would've kept it in his pants."
