With Mother's Day approaching here in the US I thought I'd write about my favorite moms in fiction. This can include movies, TV, and books. Now while your traditional moms like Mrs. Cleaver and not-so-traditional moms like Roseann Conner and Samantha from Bewitched have their place in history, they will not be featured on this list.
Books
Katie Nolan - A Tree Grows in Brooklyn
Katie married very young and became a mother at 17. She's spent every day since looking after her family and working hard to keep a roof over their heads and food in the mouths of her two children, Francie and Neely, practically single-handed as her charismatic husband is essentially useless. As a result, she often comes across to her daughter, Francie, as cold, heartless, and mean. Also, the way mom insists on sidelining Francie's attempts at furthering her education to focus on that of her thoroughly uninterested younger brother does nothing to improve their relationship.
However, Katie is a realist who knows that in the early 20th century the poverty-stricken family can't afford to send both kids to high school and they have a better chance of survival if the boy were to go on than the girl. Mom also reasons that forcing Neely will make him learn while Francie is smart enough to figure out a way to gain an education on her own, which we find later is correct. Katie does what is necessary to keep her family afloat even if that makes her the villain in her kids' eyes. I'm not a mother myself but from what I gather, isn't that what motherhood is about?
Mrs. Bennett - Pride and Prejudice
Okay, now hear me out. Does Mrs. Bennett come off as absolutely batshit crazy? Absolutely. BUT when you think about the reasons behind her actions you can kind of see why she does these things even if her execution is a bit manic. As we all know, Mr. Bennett's estate was left to him in a way that leaves nothing to his daughters, which means when the man dies the whole family ends up on the street. Women aren't allowed to work at this time, at least not women of the Bennetts' social standing, and those who do are frowned upon greatly. So, the only way to avoid becoming destitute is to marry well.
Now, my Google-Fu tells me that Hertfordshire, England where at least half of the story takes place is about 42 miles away from London, which takes over an hour by car today. So by horse, it's even less of an easy commute. The other locations are also deep in the country, which means the odds of wealthy available men frequenting these areas are extremely slim. So, when Mrs. B gets news that the long-vacant neighboring manor house has been rented out she knows she has to act fast. The only other option for her daughters to get hitched to a rich man is her husband's cretin of a cousin who would totally be an incel today.
Eeeeew!
Luckily, her daughters' charms manage to land them two of the wealthiest bachelors in England, despite mom's best efforts, but alas poor Lydia. I've always felt that if Wickham didn't get shanked in a dark alley over his gambling debts the woman would end up killing the man herself.
Movies
Mrs. Brisby - The Secret of Nimh
So, this is kind of a cheat since this movie was based on a children's book called Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH but since I never actually read the book my insight about Mrs. Brisby is based solely on the movie.
Mrs. Brisby is, I think, my first introduction to badass moms in fiction. She's a widowed field mouse who lives with her three kids in a cinder block that's located in the field of a farm. She has to move her family to a safer location as the people who own the farm will be plowing the fields soon but her son Timothy is down with pneumonia. So she visits an old friend of her husband who gives her medicine for the boy and tells her that he must stay indoors for at least three weeks or he could die.
Unfortunately, the farm owners begin plowing early so Mrs. B and her elderly neighbor Auntie Shrew, who is actually a shrew, work together to put the tractor out of commission. With that minor reprieve, Brisby goes to see the Great Owl to ask his advice on how to move her family to safety. While scaring the everliving daylights out of her he advises her to visit the rats who live under a rose bush located in the middle of the farm and talk to their leader, Nicodemus.
When she gets to the bush she's amazed by the rats' more sophisticated lifestyle due to their usage of manmade technology and electricity. She's led to Nicodemus by Justin, the captain of the guard. She learns that the rats were experimented on at a laboratory called the National Institute of Mental Health or NIMH before their escape with the help of mice like Brisby's husband, Jonathon. Nicodemus doesn't like the fact they have to steal the technology they use to live and has plans to move the whole colony to a place called Thorn Valley.
Upon learning of Mrs. B's plight, he agrees to enlist the rats to help her move her home. The only catch is they need to drug the farm cat in order to safely move the cinderblock and she would have to go into the house to do it since the rats are too large to fit through the hole that goes inside. Brisby learns that the last time the rats tried this operation, Mr. Ages was made disabled and Jonathan was killed. She manages to get to the cat's food dish but is caught by the farmer's son before she can escape.
While trying to escape from a cage that night, she hears the farmer talking on the phone with NIMH who wants to come by in the morning and exterminate the rats. Brisby manages to free herself and runs off to warn the rats. Meanwhile, Jenner, an evil rat who wants to usurp Nicodemus' power over the colony sabotages the operation leading to part of the mechanism crushing Nicodemus. Everyone is so preoccupied with the sudden death of their leader that they barely pay Brisby any mind when she arrives and tells them that NIMH is coming. Jenner attacks her and tries to take away the magical amulet Nicodemus had given her but Justin intervenes. The two fight and Jenner is killed.
Meanwhile, the cinder block begins to sink into the mud with Mrs. B's kids and Aunty Shrew trapped inside. The rats aren't able to raise it out of the mud but Super Mom comes to the rescue, using the amulet and sheer will to lift her home to safety herself. Because sometimes if you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself.
Marta Hanson - I Remember Mama
Okay, so this one is a bit of a cheat as well since this movie is also based on the novel Mama's Bank Account. But again, I never read the book so this is based solely on the movie.
Marta is another badass mom, though under less dramatic circumstances. Marta is a first-generation Norwegian immigrant living in San Francisco with her husband and four children. She's the youngest of four daughters who are all kinds of crazy with an uncle who likes to drive fast and scream as loud as possible, then wonders why everyone is afraid of him.
This story takes place around the same time as A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and she too struggles to keep the family afloat, especially when her husband's union goes on strike, and has a system for paying the bills that involves the entire family. When extra expenses come up like the oldest son, Nils, wanting to go to high school the family pulls together doing odd jobs and making sacrifices to make it happen so they "don't have to go to the bank."
To add insult to injury, their lodger skips town after right dodgy checks and doesn't pay his rent. However, the lodger is a very learned man who read stories to the family like Hound of the Baskervilles and A Tale of Two Cities. These stories made a significant impact on the family like fostering the eldest daughter Katrin's interest in writing and keeping Nils home when his friends got busted for stealing from a store one night. There was no juvie back then so you can imagine what happened to those kids.
The lodger did leave his books behind so Marta considered his debt paid in full. Much to the dissatisfaction of her oldest sister, Jenny. Jenny is the greedy matriarch and family busybody who bullies the rest of the family except Marta and Uncle Chris. When her sister Trina comes to her about wanting to marry the local undertaker, she asks Marta to help her break the news to Jenny and their other sister Sigrid. The idea of being laughed at absolutely mortifies Trina so Marta acts as a go-between, threatening to reveal secrets about Jenny and Sigrid's marriages if they dare ridicule Trina. Trina asks her to talk to Uncle Chris also but Marta tells her that her fiance must be man enough to speak with their uncle himself.
When her youngest daughter, Dagmar, falls ill with an inner ear infection severe enough to warrant an operation, Uncle Chris steps in to pay the bill and annoy the doctor by insisting he watch. At the same time, Jenny attempts to stop the uncle's spending. Uncle Chris spooks the sister and her entourage out of the house before Marta throws down with him about bothering the doctor and scaring the children. The sisters are then mortified to see Marta climb into their uncle's car with his housekeeper who we later learn is actually his wife but she waves them off saying how she looks like a nice woman to her.
Marta is beside herself when she learns she can't see Dagmar for 24 hours after the operation due to the hospital's policy, but later that night she manages to disguise herself as a cleaning woman and sneaks into the children's ward to sing the little girl to sleep. On top of all this, while Dagmar is recovering in the hospital, her favorite stray cat, Uncle Elizabeth, comes home absolutely torn to hell from a street fight. The family decides the best thing for the injured animal is to put him down. Nils gets some chloroform from drugstore but neither he nor the father has the stomach to go through with it so Marta herself ends up doing the deed. However, instead of killing the cat, it ends up putting it to sleep long enough for him to make a full recovery. Dagmar comes away from the experience believing mom can fix anything, which disturbs Marta but her husband insists it's not such a bad thing because maybe it's a little true.
When Katrin graduates from grade school, Marta decides to give her a family heirloom- a brooch passed down to her by her mother that she wears on special occasions. However, when she overhears her daughters talking about how Katrin wants an expensive vanity hairbrush set instead, she pawns the brooch to buy the set. Katrin's sister angrily tells her what their mother did, which upsets Katrin so much that she flubs her lines in the play her class puts on later that night. After the play, Katrin swaps the set for the brooch, which she returns to her mother. Marta then presents the brooch to her as her gift along with Katrin's first-ever cup of coffee since she has proven herself to be an adult. The girl is so overcome that she runs out of the room, crying.
About a year later, Katrin receives another rejection letter for her writing and decides to give up. While she's destroying her stories, Marta sneaks away with some of them to meet with a famous author named Florence Dana Moorhead who she'd read was visiting in town. She convinces the woman to read some of Katrin's work while she writes down an old family recipe for meatballs for her. Upon her return, Marta gives Katrin the author's advice that she should write about what she knows. This advice leads to Katrin's first accepted story which a magazine pays the equivalent of around $15,000 in today's money.
Oh yeah, and that bank account Marta kept telling her kids about? There never was one. She just told them that so they wouldn't worry about the family finances. What a mom!
Diane Freeling - Poltergeist (1982)
Diane is a mom who would literally go to hell and back for her kids. She moves into a new neighborhood built by her husband's firm with their three kids, Dana, Robbie, and Carol Anne. It's not long before weird things start happening like chairs stacking themselves on the table, bending silverware, and drinking glasses shattering on their own and everyone thinks it's pretty cool. That changes when the tree in the backyard tries to eat Robbie before it's taken by a tornado. Once that ordeal is over the family notices Carol Anne is missing. After searching everywhere, they realize she's trapped inside the TV.
Dad learns their housing development was built on top of a cemetery and the company only bothered to move the headstones, not the graves themselves. Experts are quickly brought in who discover that the little girl is being held hostage by several ghosts. The other children are sent away for safety reasons and a medium arrives to help figure out how to get Carol Anne back.
The medium determines that an evil spirit is using Carol Anne to keep spirits from crossing over but mom is determined to rescue her. So they tie a rope to her and pass the other end through a portal that was found in the closet of Carol Anne's room and out of another portal located in the living room ceiling. Diane steps into the portal and comes out the other side with her daughter cradled in her arms.
Though the medium declares the house to be safe, the family decides to leave anyway. One night, the father is still at work while Dana is out on a date, leaving Diane home alone with the youngest children. The evil spirit strikes, pinning Diane to the ceiling of her room while attempting to kidnap Carol Anne again. Mom manages to break free and lands in a flooded hole in the yard where the corpses attempt to hold onto her. But she crawls out and runs back into the house to rescue the kids.
The family gathers Dad and Dana who have both just arrived, jump in the car and flee as their house implodes. Now, I'm not saying Dad did anything wrong necessarily but once again when shit really hits the fan, it's mom who saves the day.
Rose Castorini - Moonstruck
My mother always likes to say that just because her kids are grown up doesn't mean she gets to stop being Mom. That rings true in this movie where Grandpa is going around town muttering with his horde of dogs, Dad is in full mid-life crisis mode, and daughter Loretta is juggling two brothers while trying to invite one to the wedding of the other.
Rose is woken up late one night by her husband, Cosmo, and Loretta to announce that she's engaged to Johnny Cammereri whose just flown out to see his dying mother in Sicily. Cosmo hates the guy but Rose ignores him asking if Loretta loves him. Loretta confesses that she doesn't but she likes him because he's nice. Rose is pleased because as she says, "When you love them they'll drive you crazy because they know they can." When Loretta announces that her father is going to foot the bill for the wedding he runs out of the room screaming how he's not going to pay for anything. Rose sighs and laments that Cosmo won't touch her now after spending the rest of the night playing some really depressing song about dying.
No Cosmo, no it doesn't.
The next night the parents sit down to dinner with Cosmo's father, Rose's brother Raymond and his wife Rita. As they talk Rose notices her husband is moodier than usual and drinking a lot of wine. She tries to find out why but he doesn't want to talk about anything. The next morning Loretta finds her mother praying in church and the older woman tells her she thinks Cosmo is cheating on her. Loretta is shocked but says that she's imagining it because her father is too old to do that. However, she confronts her father that night when she sees him at the opera with his secretary/girlfriend.
Meanwhile, Rose has dinner at a popular restaurant where a college professor named Perry is habitually dumped by a much younger woman throwing beverages in his face before storming out. After a gruff start, the two end up having dinner together before he walks her home during which she's spotted by her father-in-law who walks off grumbling He's so charmed by her that he tries to get himself invited in but she stays loyal to Cosmo and sends him on his way.
Later that night, Johnny arrives looking for Loretta who's still out with his brother Ronny. Rose asks him why men like to chase women to which he gives some convoluted answer about Adam and Eve. Then he shrugs and says that it's probably because men fear death. Rose has a eureka moment and thanks Johnny as he leaves.
The following morning, Rose tells Loretta that Johnny came back early causing her to freak out as Mom berates her for ruining her life by making stupid choices. Ronny arrives and Rose immediately clocks that the two of them are together now. She invites him to stay for breakfast despite her daughter's protests. When Cosmo and his father appear at the table, the older man informs him that he should pay for Loretta's wedding to avoid a broken family. To everyone's surprise, Cosmo agrees without argument. Rose then demands Cosmo give up his mistress and go to confession. This upsets Cosmo but again he agrees without argument. Rose tells him she loves him and he says he loves her too.
The whole family is present when Johnny arrives to break off the engagement because his mother made a miraculous recovery from death upon learning he was about to be married. He fights with his brother about their relationship with their mother before Ronny turns and proposes to Loretta, confusing everyone but Rose. Despite the chaos that erupted within the family, Mom was up on all of it and kept it together.
Honorable mention: The Xenomorph Queen from the Alien movies
Obviously, Ripley also gets a nod for taking on an angry bloodthirsty alien and protecting the little girl who survived the massacre of her colony but you have to give it up for the Big Momma of Xenomorphs for defending her babies from the weird little squishy beings who consistently invade her planet and try to either capture or destroy them. Granted she loses most of the time but boy, does she wipe the playing field beforehand.
Television
Kitty Forman - That 70s Show
Wisconsin mother of two teens and wife of a grumpy war veteran, Kitty usually comes across as happy and bubbly. She smiles and laughs inanely at whatever crazy things her kids and their friends do though she's not afraid to put her foot down and get mad when it really counts. She juggles shifts working as a nurse while battling menopause at a time when women's issues weren't talked about and tries to mend her strained relationship with her own mother as well as her estranged daughter, Laurie. However, her relationship with her son, Eric, is strong- perhaps a little too strong as she later learns to let her little bird fly from the nest all the way to Africa. Kitty also plays surrogate mom to his friends as they deal with their own absentee parents due to events like prison and taking part in a foreign exchange program to just plain neglect. Kitty puts up with a lot of drama from her family while also battling her own demons and she does a hell of a job.
Florida Evans - Good Times
Still in the midwest in the 70s, we have Florida Evans, the matriarch of a poor black family living in Chicago. Florida also contends with a grumpy husband, James, and three children- JJ, Thelma, and Michael. On top of working with her husband to keep their family afloat in a dilapidated building, she also deals with her kids' vibrant personalities as they age into adulthood. JJ is a goofy artist who fancies himself a ladies' man, which sometimes gets him into trouble. Thelma nearly gives her parents a stroke as she embraces her identity as a strong Black woman whose comfortable with her sexuality and Michael is a community and civil rights activist while still in grade school, often getting into trouble at school for spouting truths that go against societal norms.
Florida also battles societal pressures on her kids that involve cheating, deception, prison, racism, gang activity, alcoholism, unemployment, bullying, drug addiction, STDs, and sibling rivalry. When her husband is killed in a car accident, Florida must act as both father and mother to her kids who graduate from high school and start to make their own way into the world.
Linda Belcher - Bob's Burgers
Linda is a loud and quirky Jersey native, wife of Bob, and Mom to three kids, Tina, Gene, and Louise. She's a goofy, affectionate lady who isn't afraid to like what she likes and supports her family with her entire heart. She too fights to keep the Belcher family's heads above water since their floundering burger joint is their sole source of income but her overly complicated accounting system does the job.
Her parenting methods also seem overly complicated and unconventional but she has a good relationship with Tina. Her relationship with Gene could become problematic as recent episodes have shown him to be a bit of a Mama's boy with low initiative for independence. However, Linda struggles to understand her youngest child, Louise, often running into trouble when she attempts to bond with her.
The kids often try to handle problems on their own but whenever it becomes apparent that they're in over their heads, they don't hesitate to run to Mom for help. Linda's first instinct is to drop everything and help her babies, leaving the scoldings and punishment until after things have calmed down again. Though Bob insists she lets the kids take advantage of her, Linda never seems to mind making costumes or cupcakes at the last minute, teaching synchronized swimming for gym class, and whatever else is necessary for her kids to excel.
The Golden Girls
Yes, all of them. Each woman is flawed and doesn't necessarily react in the most helpful way when their adult kids surprise them with news but upon recovery and discussion over some cheesecake, these ladies tend to rally to their kids' defense and patch things up.
Blanche Devereaux is a wealthy former Southern belle from Atlanta who owns the house the ladies occupy in Miami. She has five children by her late husband and seems to be estranged from a few of them since they were mostly raised by a nanny. However, we see her make an effort with one daughter, a former model who has gained weight and puts up with an abusive fiance until Blanche lights a fire under her to stand up for herself. Another time, Blanche stands firm against the idea of her other daughter's pregnancy by artificial insemination. She botches it big time when her daughter says she wants to give birth in Miami to be near her mama but Blanche insists she gives birth somewhere else because she's embarrassed. Though they make up in time for the baby to be born, their relationship hits a few snags throughout the series in regards to the grandaughter, Aurora, or Oreo as Blanche mistakenly calls her.
Rose Nylund is a much sweeter and more naive woman than Blanche but she too messes up with her kids from time to time. Rose hails from the uber-Norwegian town of St. Olaf, Minnesota where she raised her own five children with her late husband. Since he was always on the road for his job, Rose constantly made up stories about her husband so that their kids would see him as a hero. This comes back to bite her in the ass years later when one of her daughters nearly disowns her believing Rose blew through an inheritance left by her father. Rose ends up coming clean about the fact her husband wasn't a wealthy man after all. Another blow-up occurs when another daughter comes to visit and Rose finds her in bed with Dorothy's layabout musician son who is also visiting. The two have a long talk about how this was not her daughter's first sexual encounter and that Mom needs to get a grip because her daughter is a fully functioning adult now.
Brooklyn native, Dorothy Zbornak also has to contend with problems she has with her own kids. While she's much more realistic and handled seeing her son in bed with Rose's daughter in a much calmer manner, she ends up engaging in some tough love by throwing him out of the house when he insists on mooching off her. He goes to his father since they're basically two peas in a pod but even Stan throws him out because they're a little too alike. Later in the series, he returns to Miami with his much older Black fiance, which throws Dorothy and the fiance's family through a loop. The son is still a bit flighty but with his new bride in tow and a baby on the way, it seems like he finally considers what's necessary to be a responsible adult.
She nearly misses her daughter's wedding because she's still bitter about her husband of 38 years walking out on her one day, leaving his lawyer to break the news to her. She doesn't think she has the fortitude to be in the same room with the man without tearing out his eyes but her new roommates help her keep it together long enough to confront him after the wedding to get some much-needed closure.
And finally, we have Sophia Petrillo. Oh, Sophia, the woman I will probably become myself in 40 years or so. The Sicilian native who raised three kids in Brooklyn with her now-deceased husband has definitely made her share of mistakes when it comes to her kids. She plays favorites, calling her wealthy daughter, Gloria, her "good daughter" and cutting ties completely with her son Phil because he was a cross-dresser. Unfortunately, she didn't come to terms with her fear that she did something wrong and accept that this was just who he was until his death. Her relationship with Dorothy is pretty much touch and go. Sometimes they get along fine, playing cards, talking, and gently ribbing each other. Other times the women go at it like a heavyweight boxing match. Whenever Sophia goes too far though, Dorothy threatens to return her to her old nursing home, Shady Pines.
What I love most about these women is that they aren't perfect and show that you don't have to be. Just try your best with what you have and what you know and own up to your mistakes when you make them. These ladies must've done something right since they still hear from their kids come Mother's Day.
Each of the women on this list are flawed human beings who don't always get it right the first time. And that's okay. Kids don't come with an instruction manual and many women often become mother's without any sort of emotional support or guidance so they're basically winging it. Personally, I don't have kids. The universe has deemed it impossible for that to ever happen but I see how my niece and nephews are being raised and there are times when I don't envy the tough calls these ladies have to make on a regular basis. But the best moms always seem to be the ones who have the worry in the back of their minds that they might be screwing up their kids. Just know that nobody has all the answers and the best you can do is use what you know. At the end of the day, we're all a little screwed up, regardless.
Anyway, Happy Mother's Day to all!
Comments